Kate Moss Breaking News: Bish Bash Bollocks

So, some fucking idiot has reimagined Hieronymous Bosch's Garden of Earthly Delights, and has filled it with modern bores, one of whom is - you'll never guess - Kate Moss!

This fuckwit, Lluis Barba told the Times: 'Kate Moss is as important to art history as Andy Warhol'.

NOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo!

No, she isn't.

Kate Moss Breaking News: Dim-witted Fan Wets Pants Over New Picture

Oh. My. God. Imagine if you'd discovered a new photo of Kate Moss. By which I mean a photograph of Kate Moss that you'd Never. Seen. Before.

Can you imagine?

Well, that's what happened to the lucky young lady who writes this blog, so naturally she simply had to blog about it.

I don't know. Am I being unfair? Is there actually any reason this should make me feel so angry? Probably not. I'm going to go have a lie down.

Kate Moss Breaking Balls: Who's What Now?

Well, there you go. I may hate Kate Moss - and I believe I do - but I would be a foolish lady to doubt that although she may not have any personality to speak of, or any intelligence or charm or humour or top bollocks, she does have one thing in spades: she has fame. She has a big name. She's Kate Moss. Famous Kate Moss. So really it should come as no surprise to discover that Kate has been added to this year's edition of Who's Who. Well, isn't that great news. Just imagine what she's going to be like now. You thought she was unbearable before? You just wait. She'll be all: 'You can't fine me for smokin' indoors, don't you know oo I am? I'm Kate Moss. I'm in Oo Zoo!'

She may be in Who's Who, but she's still a vile self-serving little skank who neglects both her daughter and everyday washing rituals. Bleugh.

Kate Moss Breaking News: The Woman Is A Munter!

Alright I've had just about enough of people saying that Kate Moss is 'the most beautiful woman in the world'. It's about time the truth was told: the woman is butt-fuck ugly. Thankfully photographs in today's News of the World provide incontrovertible proof of this.

I hate to be so superficial, I really do. I mean, I'm no oil painting myself so who am I to talk, right? Wrong. That's irrelevant.

It's not the fact that Moss gets paid millions for allegedly being beautiful that peeves me either. It's the fact that she thinks she's so goddamn special because people are always telling her she's gorgeous.

It goes like this:

1) misguided people tell Moss she's the most beautiful woman in the world

2) Moss believes them and...

3) ...tragically also believes that being beautiful is in some way important

4) therefore Moss believes she is special, better than people less attractive than her

5) because Moss is such an unhappy, bitter little girl, she consequently treats her inferiors (as she sees just about everybody else on the planet) really badly

And this has got to stop. For her sake. That's right, for the sake of Kate Moss, she must realise that far from being better than most of everybody else, she's actually a vile, stinking, nasty-faced, unpleasant little harpy.

And thankfully, these photos may help her realise.




Look at this one. Ugh!

Shocking. She makes Tracey Emin look like Claudia Schiffer in this shot.




And in the last one, she looks like a pre-pubescent Leonardo di Caprio with bloated boy-breasts. There really is something very wrong with a world which not only places such a high value on physical appearance but then doesn't even have the sense to see that Kate Moss is really really really a very ugly woman, both inside and out.






Incidentally - if there is any truth in the tabloid rumours, and I don't know that there is, but I wouldn't be surprised frankly - she is on holiday with a man who isn't her boyfriend. Morals of an alleycat. Face of a pig. Tits of a teenage boy. Most beautiful woman in the world?








I don't think so.